Tamar Joshua Rowe

I am officially older as of today. ^_^ This takes me slightly closer to being taken seriously! Maybe. Possibly not. Or possibly the actual number of my age doesn't effect that, just how old and/or wise and/or experienced I appear to others? Hmm. I'm not actually all that experienced, and there is much about life that is perplexing, but I'm working on it.

I am having a bit of a panic about my general lack of being functional and how it's going to effect my course, but given that I don't actually have any contact hours this term, it should be easier to work around? I have been officially instructed by my year tutor to not worry about it, and I find it very easy to not actually think about it.

I'm back in bed now after the tasty brunch, and I have water and paracetamol, so hopefully the headache will fade. I should acknowledge that although Alex's illness isn't hitting me nearly as hard as it hit him, my body is still processing it - rather than taking the standard ableist tack and breaking myself further. Socialness was managed last night mostly due to Joe seeing to it that I got fed and then driving us there and back, and it was good. It was nice seeing so many people happy.

It's very rare that this happens on purpose. I don't think it's ever happened on purpose, actually. It's a problems class for one of last term's modules, which very few people in the class 'got' (me being one of them, because I was in a crazy-smart phase), and even fewer got in such a way that they could explain to others.

I'll go to my next lecture, because I can do the writing notes and taking stuff in, but I can't deal with the slightly desperate expectant looks from the lecturer hoping that he's not speaking complete gobble-de-gook and wanting some confirmation from the audience that he is in fact speaking Scottish like he thinks he is. I'm going to make some tea, and try to feel less hopeless/stressed/whatever.

I'm not entirely just distressed because of the Dr.s appointment yesterday - it's more that the entire week beforehand I'd been holding myself together until then because I hoped that it would make things better - that after the appointment, I'd have another Thing to do that would hopefully make me a little bit better - even if that thing is 'stop taking the thing which has 'mania' as a side-effect'. I'm just supposed to continue as I was, though, and if the last two weeks is anything to go by, it's going to undo most of the being-functional progress that I've made since going on LOA. And that's a really, really disheartening thought.

I think Tuesdays are going to be Good, organisation-wise. Today I had a 09:15 which never happened, because the lecturer never showed up, followed by breakfast in the RKC, then a StatMech lecture which was quite awesome, then I walked with James to the costcutter to buy a red pepper and some mayonnaise, and then I went to Hes Post Office to pay the next instalment of the water bill, and then I went home and that was my morning!

Then I mixed the mayonnaise with ketchup to make pink mayonnaise and stirred in the prawns I bought the other day and ate that with crispbreads for my lunch, and then I washed up things and then chopped up things until I had chopped all the things to turn into curry. Except, before I chopped the things, I mixed up half a coconut block with boiling water, because as far as I've been told, that's required for making curry.

Ingredients!

1 potato
quarter swede
two carrots
half a red pepper
100g coconut block + 400ml hot water
half a packet of casserole beef
a small brown onion

spices: cumin, coriander, turmeric, paprika, pinch dried chilli flakes

One thing I like about using the slow cooker is that I can be as disorganised as I like - it doesn't matter when things go in the pot. Also I can take a rest while chopping.

Following getting the food cooking, and realising that I didn't really have time for the shower I'd wanted, I sat and painted my nails. I realised when I was half-way to uni that larp is tomorrow and I don't have any remover. Fail. But the painting itself made me happy. So anyway, I went back to Uni, because I had a 17:15 lecture... except, I'd counted wrong, and got to physics at about 1600, where I proceeded to be sociable for a while, which was good.

I'm completely not talking about my mental stuff. ( How weird. )

And then, at the time when I had a lecture, there was a lecture! Nuclear Physics I, which, from how the 1st lecture was, seems to be really interesting. I might see if I can get a summer project in the Nuclear group - I'll want to do my BSC in Condensed Matter Theory if possible, and I want to get some breadth of projects - I've done one QM modelling in CMT so far, and the BSC project I started but dropped out of was with Irena on Quantum Transport.

I think summer projects are what I have instead of part-time job experience. XD Though, I also have my work experience pre-uni. Need to be all up-to-date and stuff, especially with being a madwoman, else I'll never get employed. And employment is required for disposable income for spending on things like gluten-free bread. (I had a couple of loaves at Steve's house, and I so so miss being able to just MAKE TOAST.)

And then there was the evening, which contained COLD WINTER AIR and a shower so that I have clean hair again, yay, and nomming the curry with some rice and being REALLY FULL from curry, which I made myself did I say, and then internets for like an hour and some until it is Now.

I think sleep should occur soon. Today has been a day full of Doing Things, and tomorrow will also be a Day, that one also being a Day containing LARP, and so more sleep than last night shall be required. Or not-sleep, I guess. Not-sleep tends to work well enough, because it's a bit like sleep.

http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_feminism/430267.html

^ Look, a post about the academia (/work in general) gender gap and an aggrivating factor thereof!

I nearly died, it was awesome. XD Also, I think we may have have irrevocably screwed things up, but I think that that just comes along with being adventurers.

Monstering the first two missions was fun, too - sometimes we were pretty much there to get cut down, but dispersed between that was 'Argh, why are there other people here? What are you, adventurers or something?' followed by roleplay, combat, or both. XD Also I got to remember that I had a spell, say it loudly in front of a player who went 'buh?' at me for it. Hee!

And now I am home, have showered briefly (I'll do my hair tomorrow...) and have hot chocolate. I've submitted my downtime, but I think I may have forgotten a bit. Hmm. People ate my brownies, so yay (it means I get the joy of making them (even if it was using a mix - I hate weighing out ingredients, and I even use the 'reducing' method for butter - tere the scales at the amount I want with the full pack on the top, then remove until the pin points to '0'. This can also be done with digital scales that give -ve numbers.), other people get to eat brownies, and I don't make myself sick eating far too much at once.

I'll think about the downtime thing, but must remember that I have late lectures tomorrow (wah, finish at 18:15...). As well as morning lectures. Note to left: bring in laptop and start the rest of my prob qs. I've kinda resolved to hand in QMII early this week, just because. I've done question 7, but question 3 involves algebra and may be a proof.

...and so now two subjects which really don't go together are in one post. Oh well.

First: ( Merlin fannishness! Possibly includes spoilers for this series (first episode, at least)? )

The other thing, is that my application to do my final year over two years has been approved! I get to do Uni part time!

ETA: Modules are Quantum Mechanics II, Thermodynamics, and Mathematical Physics this term, as well as Skills.

Also! A Third Thing! There is NaNo soon. I have reactivated my account, but don't know whether I'm going to do it. (I might do the x-amount-of-time-writing rather than x-many-words - given that time is a Thing which I need to learn to use better.)

My LOA request got approved! I'll be restarting my third year of Physics in October, and hopefully shall be healthy, or at least healthy enough or functioning enough that I'll be able to manage and finish the course. Officiality!

Also, following this, I managed to have a phone conversation with my parents that didn't end in/start with/contain them lecturing me.

It got dark again. Must it do that every night?

It's really hard to not worry about what happens when no one replies to your emails which you sent to ask what's going on.

So, I had the meeting with people. Um.

Wendy House is occurring on Saturday. We are intending to go to Wendy House on Saturday. It is the birthday of beast_the_yeti at some point in the vicinity, and also term will have started without getting started, so it's good for the workload.

I've google-maps'd Leeds Station to University of Leeds Student's Union, and it seems to be a fair way. I remember last time I was there (for World of Physics) and we took so many wrong turns (apparently some of the signs had actually been spun; I didn't think that really happened) and ended up taking the free bus back. Apparently the free bus stops running at about half seven, though, so that's no good for this time. Hmm. We'll manage.

Who is coming too?