You don't often find good things in feministe...

[tj_rowe]

...but I like this post: The Right To Fuck Up; there's some good discussion going on in the comments, too. (At least at the moment - you all know what the internet is like).

I especially liked the comment with this:

"What if our politics didn’t come out as “I should be anti-racist because that’s the right thing to do” or “I should be anti-racist because I’m an anti-racist activist”; but instead “I should be anti-racist because I love you and when I’m racist it hurts you”? Would that make things any different?"

It made things click a bit, for me. They used 'racist' in the example, but it works for 'sexist'*, 'homophobic', 'disableist', 'transphobic' and others - even things which don't really have 'official' names in social justice discourse. When you get past all the theory and definitions and logic puzzles, we really just want the world to suck less, am I right? We want for society to look after everyone, not just straight Christian cis-men with money. We want for there to be less pointless chafe that makes the lives of the oppressed harder with no real gain.

I mean, some enforcement of the kyriarchy is done by cruel people who just want to feel superior to someone. The majority of the time, though, it's 'that's how things work, right?' and 'I can't be arsed to consider that other people have a different view of the world - or even themselves - than I do, and I can't be wrong', and 'But I don't want to be the oppressed one!'

Laziness, fear, and a lack of compassion. Is there any reason why the world can't be different?




*(actually, this is a rare example which works for both misogyny and misandry, because the power of the situation is, while relevent to the magnitude of the harm, not so relevent to the harm itself)

Comments

[favouredenemy.livejournal.com]

"I mean, some enforcement of the kyriarchy is done by cruel people who just want to feel superior to someone. The majority of the time, though, it's 'that's how things work, right?' and 'I can't be arsed to consider that other people have a different view of the world - or even themselves - than I do, and I can't be wrong', and 'But I don't want to be the oppressed one!'

Laziness, fear, and a lack of compassion. Is there any reason why the world can't be different?"

I like describing things in terms of 'spoons', and I think it's something that you've brought up previously on LJ, so think it works to confer my beliefs here.

People don't necessarily have enough spoons to consider the effects of their words or actions on every (any) single group. Calling people 'lazy' because they lack the spoons to understand you strikes me as massively hypocritical, when you're often unable to eat properly or leave the house due to a lack of spoons, and complain when eg, your family call you lazy for essentially the same thing. Or bringing up again and again in public my stance on feminism/equal rights, then refusing to engage in a discussion about it, leaving it as little more than a direct, personal attack. Are you, in this case, lazy? Scared? Lacking compassion?

Most people prioritise in this order 'me -> my immediate friends and family -> their friends and family -> everyone else'. Regardless of whether that is the correct social construct (and by what determining factors you judge it 'correct'). That is how they lay out their spoons. I have full respect for people who can put out a lot of spoons on that last category, because that means they have a hell of a lot of spoons spare to do so. But can I blame anyone else for *not* doing so? Not really...

Much of the equal rights movement - as a whole - is about understanding and education. I support equal rights - as a whole - without understanding or knowing much about it. I will occasionally throw out questions about it, to try and understand it a bit better, and sometimes I will learn a bit more and understand a bit better. According to this article cited above, I even have the right to fuck up occasionally.

I admit to being stupid and uneducated. Not to being lazy, scared, and/or lacking in compassion.

[tamerterra.livejournal.com]

You're right that I shouldn't do that. It's usually with the intention of warding off comments on the subject because I'm not sure I can deal with them at the time, with me being too foolish to realise until afterwards that by doing so I'm bringing the subject up myself. And that you weren't going to make the expected comments, anyway.

So, yeah, probably all of the above. I'm sorry.

I may have been granting myself a little too much leeway with fucking up, as well as selfishness, over the last few months because of not giving myself enough leeway with them previous to that. I am a creature of extremes, though hopefully I'll even out on them eventually.

Though, I think that lack of spoons and 'can't be arsed' are seperate things.

[favouredenemy.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the apology, and apology accepted. Must admit I was expecting more of a battle on it.