I am a wangsty thing. *shunned*
Jul. 20th, 2009 10:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tj_roweGood news: When I asked the doctor if, as she was taking blood to look at my iron, she could test for Celiac at the same time, she just ticked the box on the form with no fuss whatsoever. Yay! The bad news is, I might not get the result before the Shatleg event. Ah well.
So. Ended up sat on the side of my bed for ages just sat and not doing anything. I think I was waiting for Steve to come in from brushing his teeth or whatever, despite the fact that he's, y'know, in Durham. Tamar is silly.
There are things that I don't currently have the mental (or physical, really) energy to deal with. Need to learn to not engage. I like to try and see the best in people, so being faced with a person who likes to rip people to shreds and being perpetually on guard against getting picked on/assigned the value of 'bad person' isn't really how I want to spend my time.
I've spent nearly two years now just about managing to convince myself that I'm allowed to have friends. I don't want to go back on that, but the stress seems to be shoving me back. It sucks. Also, given that I met Steve during my second week of uni, and we haven't been apart for more than three days since this time last year, there's the new stress of 'hey, I'm by myself again. What do I do now?' I'll work it out and get used to it, but I want to work it out in a constructive way, and if I'm guarding myself off to fear of doing/saying the 'wrong' thing, I'm not going to be able to do that.
Also, Vainglory LARP was awesome yesterday. Exhausting, but awesome. Next time, though, less skirt, more paying attention when my greaves have turned sideways and I'm walking through thistles. Also, ensure that there are dry towels for after. And waterproofing of everything beforehand. Yes.
(Also, yay stompy alliance)
So. Ended up sat on the side of my bed for ages just sat and not doing anything. I think I was waiting for Steve to come in from brushing his teeth or whatever, despite the fact that he's, y'know, in Durham. Tamar is silly.
There are things that I don't currently have the mental (or physical, really) energy to deal with. Need to learn to not engage. I like to try and see the best in people, so being faced with a person who likes to rip people to shreds and being perpetually on guard against getting picked on/assigned the value of 'bad person' isn't really how I want to spend my time.
I've spent nearly two years now just about managing to convince myself that I'm allowed to have friends. I don't want to go back on that, but the stress seems to be shoving me back. It sucks. Also, given that I met Steve during my second week of uni, and we haven't been apart for more than three days since this time last year, there's the new stress of 'hey, I'm by myself again. What do I do now?' I'll work it out and get used to it, but I want to work it out in a constructive way, and if I'm guarding myself off to fear of doing/saying the 'wrong' thing, I'm not going to be able to do that.
Also, Vainglory LARP was awesome yesterday. Exhausting, but awesome. Next time, though, less skirt, more paying attention when my greaves have turned sideways and I'm walking through thistles. Also, ensure that there are dry towels for after. And waterproofing of everything beforehand. Yes.
(Also, yay stompy alliance)
