And Lo, there was Drabble-matic.
May. 19th, 2006 10:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tj_roweOh, and the Dante Meme:
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
The Miracle Of The Cat
Jack Spicer hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like one of Clay's Texas metaphors. He loathed it.
Every December, Jack Spicer would feel himself getting all smexy inside. He refused to put up a Christmas helipack, he snapped at anyone far-fetched enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Jack Spicer had to go to the mall to buy a superfluous soup. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing frankly around and so much Christmas music blaring in adoration, he thought his arm would explode.
Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a magnificent man collecting for charity. Jack Spicer never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the magnificent man dropped his bells and ran in Jack's workshop. There was a glad cat right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the magnificent man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Jack Spicer rushed out and lustily pushed them both out of the way. There was a stupid bang and then everything went dark.
When Jack Spicer woke up, he was in an annoying room. There was a Christmas helipack in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Jack Spicer's mouth hurt. A lot.
The magnificent man came into the room. "I'm so haughty!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Chase Young. You saved me from the truck. But your mouth is broken."
Jack Spicer hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas helipack up and his mouth was broken, he felt quite whiny, especially when he looked at Chase Young.
"Your mouth must hurt expositionally," Chase Young said. "I think this will help." And he sucked Jack Spicer several times.
Now Jack Spicer felt very whiny indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Chase Young. "I love you," he said, and kissed Chase Young huskily.
"I love you too," said Chase Young. Just then, the cat ran into the room and nuzzled Jack Spicer's leg. "I brought him home with us," Chase Young said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Jack Spicer said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
The Angry Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Katnappe and Kimiko went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Katnappe hit Kimiko in her eye with a big afraid iceball. It hurt a lot, but Katnappe kissed it for some reason and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really smexy snow man!" Katnappe said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Kimiko said. "That would be more lovely and politically correct."
"I know," Katnappe said. "We can make a snow cat. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up huskily and made an unspeakable snow cat. Katnappe put on a Shen Gong Wu for the finger. The cat was almost as big as Kimiko.
"It looks unabashed," Katnappe said hungrily. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," Kimiko said and held up an inconsolable hairslide. "I found this at a cafe." She put the hairslide onto the cat's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the cat, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a daft idea that only Jack Spicer could come up with.
Kimiko screamed squeakily and ran but the snow cat chased her until she tripped over a tree root. Then the snow cat licked her determinedly.
"Nobody does that to my little Flatulent Shoe," Katnappe screamed. She grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow cat through the hair. It fell down and Katnappe kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" Kimiko said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The hairslide lay in the yard until a gay child picked it up and took it home.
I Saw Katnappe Kissing Santa Claus
Kimiko woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one afraid box that looked like a hairslide.
Then Kimiko noticed that Katnappe was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.
Kimiko thought that she would surprise Katnappe. Maybe even sneak up behind her and lick her on her flatulent finger. That always made Katnappe lovely.
Kimiko crept determinedly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its inconsolable lights, and the presents, heaped up hungrily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Katnappe. Kissing someone.
Kimiko was so angry, she picked up a Shen Gong Wu from a table and threw it squeakily at a cafe.
They both looked around.
"Katnappe, you gay cat!" Kimiko yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Kimiko looked and then rubbed her eye and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Katnappe said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what an unabashed kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Kimiko said for some reason. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be unspeakable."
That seemed reasonable. Kimiko went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a daft idea that only Jack Spicer could come up with. He made Kimiko's hair feel all angry.
"You see?" Katnappe said huskily and Kimiko saw. So they had a threesome.
Everybody's presents were late.
Lovely Love
Kimiko finished packing. Ever since Katnappe, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Kimiko had been smexy.
There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing licked her, all was gay. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going at a cafe to become an afraid Shen Gong Wu.
Just then, there was an unspeakable knock at the door. Kimiko opened it and stood there for some reason for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her finger.
When Kimiko came to, Katnappe was holding her eye and looking inconsolable. "My love," Katnappe said hungrily, "I'm sorry for the angry shock. I've been shipwrecked on a flatulent island for the last ten years, living like a daft idea that only Jack Spicer could come up with. I was only rescued last week." She paused. "I lost my hair in the wreck. Can you still love me?"
Kimiko could hardly believe her Katnappe had returned. "I will always love you, hair or no hair. Besides, you can cover it up with a hairslide."
They embraced squeakily and vowed to never be parted again.
And all was unabashed.
The Texan Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Clay and Raimundo went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Clay hit Raimundo in his hat with a big pale iceball. It hurt a lot, but Clay kissed it lazily and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really lusty snow man!" Clay said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Raimundo said. "That would be more exhasted and politically correct."
"I know," Clay said. "We can make a snow lizard. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up to no avail and made a silly snow lizard. Clay put on a Shen Gong Wu for the arm. The lizard was almost as big as Raimundo.
"It looks tired," Clay said smexily. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," Raimundo said and held up a shatter resistant chocolate. "I found this in front of the temple." He put the chocolate onto the lizard's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the lizard, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a bucket of garlic had been dumped on his head.
Raimundo screamed sweetly and ran but the snow lizard chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow lizard sniffed him because he felt like it.
"Nobody does that to my little Energetic Sign," Clay screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow lizard through the stomach. It fell down and Clay kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" Raimundo said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The chocolate lay in the yard until a daft child picked it up and took it home.
Raimundo and Clay
by William Shakespeare
Enter Raimundo
Clay appears above at a window
Raimundo:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the chocolate, and Clay is the lizard.
Arise, energetic lizard, and sniff the silly Shen Gong Wu.
See, how he leans his stomach upon his arm!
O, that I were a glove upon that arm,
That I might touch that stomach!
Clay:
O Raimundo, Raimundo! wherefore art thou Raimundo?
What's in a name? That which we call a hat
By any other name would smell as lusty
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a bucket of garlic had been dumped on his head"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove daft.
Raimundo:
Swain, by yonder silly Shen Gong Wu I swear
That tips in front of the temple the tired sign--
Clay:
O, swear not by the Shen Gong Wu, the pale Shen Gong Wu,
That sweetly changes in its Texan orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise Texan.
Sweet, exhasted night! A thousand times exhasted night!
Parting is such shatter resistant sorrow,
That I shall say exhasted night till it be morrow.
Exit above
Raimundo:
Sleep dwell upon thy stomach, peace in thine arm!
Would I were sleep and peace, so lazily to rest!
smexily will I to my energetic hat's cell,
Its help to sniff, and my lusty hat to tell.
To Smexily Sniff
Raimundo and Clay were celebrating an exhasted Valentine's Day together. Raimundo had cooked an energetic dinner and they ate in front of the temple by candlelight.
"My darling," Clay said, stroking Raimundo's hat, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Raimundo. "It is but a daft token of my lusty love."
Raimundo opened the box. Inside was a Texan sign! He gazed at it sweetly. Then he gazed at Clay sweetly. "It's tired," Raimundo said. "Come here and let me sniff you."
Just then, a shatter resistant crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a bucket of garlic had been dumped on his head. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a silly voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Clay read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other because he felt like it as the crone cackled some more. Raimundo's arm began to tremble. Then Clay shrugged, pulled out a chocolate, and hit the crone on her stomach. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Raimundo said and kissed Clay to no avail. "This is a pale Valentine's Day!"
They lazily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they sniffed each other all night long.
Well, that was daft. XD Link is here if you want it.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Very High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Low |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Moderate |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Low |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Moderate |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Very High |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Very High |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Moderate |
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
The Miracle Of The Cat
Jack Spicer hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like one of Clay's Texas metaphors. He loathed it.
Every December, Jack Spicer would feel himself getting all smexy inside. He refused to put up a Christmas helipack, he snapped at anyone far-fetched enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Jack Spicer had to go to the mall to buy a superfluous soup. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing frankly around and so much Christmas music blaring in adoration, he thought his arm would explode.
Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a magnificent man collecting for charity. Jack Spicer never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the magnificent man dropped his bells and ran in Jack's workshop. There was a glad cat right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the magnificent man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Jack Spicer rushed out and lustily pushed them both out of the way. There was a stupid bang and then everything went dark.
When Jack Spicer woke up, he was in an annoying room. There was a Christmas helipack in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Jack Spicer's mouth hurt. A lot.
The magnificent man came into the room. "I'm so haughty!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Chase Young. You saved me from the truck. But your mouth is broken."
Jack Spicer hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas helipack up and his mouth was broken, he felt quite whiny, especially when he looked at Chase Young.
"Your mouth must hurt expositionally," Chase Young said. "I think this will help." And he sucked Jack Spicer several times.
Now Jack Spicer felt very whiny indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Chase Young. "I love you," he said, and kissed Chase Young huskily.
"I love you too," said Chase Young. Just then, the cat ran into the room and nuzzled Jack Spicer's leg. "I brought him home with us," Chase Young said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Jack Spicer said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
The Angry Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Katnappe and Kimiko went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Katnappe hit Kimiko in her eye with a big afraid iceball. It hurt a lot, but Katnappe kissed it for some reason and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really smexy snow man!" Katnappe said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Kimiko said. "That would be more lovely and politically correct."
"I know," Katnappe said. "We can make a snow cat. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up huskily and made an unspeakable snow cat. Katnappe put on a Shen Gong Wu for the finger. The cat was almost as big as Kimiko.
"It looks unabashed," Katnappe said hungrily. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," Kimiko said and held up an inconsolable hairslide. "I found this at a cafe." She put the hairslide onto the cat's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the cat, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a daft idea that only Jack Spicer could come up with.
Kimiko screamed squeakily and ran but the snow cat chased her until she tripped over a tree root. Then the snow cat licked her determinedly.
"Nobody does that to my little Flatulent Shoe," Katnappe screamed. She grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow cat through the hair. It fell down and Katnappe kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" Kimiko said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The hairslide lay in the yard until a gay child picked it up and took it home.
I Saw Katnappe Kissing Santa Claus
Kimiko woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one afraid box that looked like a hairslide.
Then Kimiko noticed that Katnappe was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.
Kimiko thought that she would surprise Katnappe. Maybe even sneak up behind her and lick her on her flatulent finger. That always made Katnappe lovely.
Kimiko crept determinedly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its inconsolable lights, and the presents, heaped up hungrily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Katnappe. Kissing someone.
Kimiko was so angry, she picked up a Shen Gong Wu from a table and threw it squeakily at a cafe.
They both looked around.
"Katnappe, you gay cat!" Kimiko yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Kimiko looked and then rubbed her eye and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Katnappe said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what an unabashed kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Kimiko said for some reason. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be unspeakable."
That seemed reasonable. Kimiko went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a daft idea that only Jack Spicer could come up with. He made Kimiko's hair feel all angry.
"You see?" Katnappe said huskily and Kimiko saw. So they had a threesome.
Everybody's presents were late.
Lovely Love
Kimiko finished packing. Ever since Katnappe, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Kimiko had been smexy.
There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing licked her, all was gay. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going at a cafe to become an afraid Shen Gong Wu.
Just then, there was an unspeakable knock at the door. Kimiko opened it and stood there for some reason for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her finger.
When Kimiko came to, Katnappe was holding her eye and looking inconsolable. "My love," Katnappe said hungrily, "I'm sorry for the angry shock. I've been shipwrecked on a flatulent island for the last ten years, living like a daft idea that only Jack Spicer could come up with. I was only rescued last week." She paused. "I lost my hair in the wreck. Can you still love me?"
Kimiko could hardly believe her Katnappe had returned. "I will always love you, hair or no hair. Besides, you can cover it up with a hairslide."
They embraced squeakily and vowed to never be parted again.
And all was unabashed.
The Texan Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Clay and Raimundo went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Clay hit Raimundo in his hat with a big pale iceball. It hurt a lot, but Clay kissed it lazily and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really lusty snow man!" Clay said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Raimundo said. "That would be more exhasted and politically correct."
"I know," Clay said. "We can make a snow lizard. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up to no avail and made a silly snow lizard. Clay put on a Shen Gong Wu for the arm. The lizard was almost as big as Raimundo.
"It looks tired," Clay said smexily. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," Raimundo said and held up a shatter resistant chocolate. "I found this in front of the temple." He put the chocolate onto the lizard's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the lizard, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a bucket of garlic had been dumped on his head.
Raimundo screamed sweetly and ran but the snow lizard chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow lizard sniffed him because he felt like it.
"Nobody does that to my little Energetic Sign," Clay screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow lizard through the stomach. It fell down and Clay kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" Raimundo said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The chocolate lay in the yard until a daft child picked it up and took it home.
Raimundo and Clay
by William Shakespeare
Enter Raimundo
Clay appears above at a window
Raimundo:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the chocolate, and Clay is the lizard.
Arise, energetic lizard, and sniff the silly Shen Gong Wu.
See, how he leans his stomach upon his arm!
O, that I were a glove upon that arm,
That I might touch that stomach!
Clay:
O Raimundo, Raimundo! wherefore art thou Raimundo?
What's in a name? That which we call a hat
By any other name would smell as lusty
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a bucket of garlic had been dumped on his head"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove daft.
Raimundo:
Swain, by yonder silly Shen Gong Wu I swear
That tips in front of the temple the tired sign--
Clay:
O, swear not by the Shen Gong Wu, the pale Shen Gong Wu,
That sweetly changes in its Texan orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise Texan.
Sweet, exhasted night! A thousand times exhasted night!
Parting is such shatter resistant sorrow,
That I shall say exhasted night till it be morrow.
Exit above
Raimundo:
Sleep dwell upon thy stomach, peace in thine arm!
Would I were sleep and peace, so lazily to rest!
smexily will I to my energetic hat's cell,
Its help to sniff, and my lusty hat to tell.
To Smexily Sniff
Raimundo and Clay were celebrating an exhasted Valentine's Day together. Raimundo had cooked an energetic dinner and they ate in front of the temple by candlelight.
"My darling," Clay said, stroking Raimundo's hat, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Raimundo. "It is but a daft token of my lusty love."
Raimundo opened the box. Inside was a Texan sign! He gazed at it sweetly. Then he gazed at Clay sweetly. "It's tired," Raimundo said. "Come here and let me sniff you."
Just then, a shatter resistant crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a bucket of garlic had been dumped on his head. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a silly voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Clay read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other because he felt like it as the crone cackled some more. Raimundo's arm began to tremble. Then Clay shrugged, pulled out a chocolate, and hit the crone on her stomach. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Raimundo said and kissed Clay to no avail. "This is a pale Valentine's Day!"
They lazily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they sniffed each other all night long.
Well, that was daft. XD Link is here if you want it.
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no subject
Date: 2006-05-20 09:36 am (UTC)The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test
....I guess I'm just totally unreligious.......
It's okay
Date: 2007-01-20 07:47 pm (UTC)Sorry, but only parts of it made sense.
Re: It's okay
Date: 2007-01-22 10:49 pm (UTC)