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Eee!!!
I just got one f the best reviews ever on 524!
*squees*
I like that she capitalised on the lack-of-Guan - he and Wuya have been eating up all of my headspace, lately. It's all "Travelling to Temples! Random encounters! Addition of Family members! Barbarian raiders! The Life-Cycle of the Not-So-Common Quan/Kwan/Guan Dao! Origin of the Spicers! WhyTF Hannibal got involved anyway!"
... The whole Dashi/Wuya fight may take a good while to get properly started - the whole 'learning to live on the mainland' thing was supposed to take like three chapters but it's exploded. O_o
However, that could be a very, very good thing for the overall story. It gives more room for gradual developments, and gives a long-term setting. Draws out the Chase-worry, too. *is evil*
...
Does anyone else think of 'The Day After Tomorrow' and other such films when they see articles like this and this?
OMG I love this story! I love the way you characterize everyone as they were younger (Chase, bookish? Didn't see it coming, but God, it was so hillarious when he had his nose stuck in that book... it fit him really well. I laughed harder than I have since my birthday... but I'm getting off track, aren't I?..)
At first I was really hesitant about reading this, but I read it anyway. I'm glad I did, you're quite the storyteller. most of it flowed smoothly (though you lost me for a while there, right around where Dojo got supersized and atlantis started sinking, but I worked through it, so no biggie.)
One question, where is Guan? Not that I care that the bald-self-riteous-crazed-spear-loving-maniac is missing, I'm just wondering when he'll come into the story.
I like how the three of them are so human. the few other stories I've read with these four in it(three, I guess, since Guan aint here yet...) make them all seem 'hey look at me, I existed 1500 years ago so I must be godlike!' or whatever. They're human, and back 1500 years ago, the four (three) of them are the same age as you&me, same problems, and DEFINITELY not gods. yet.
You make Wuya fall head-over-heels for cute-little dojo and you give the girl a tart personality, you make Chase worried and insecure (he doesn't want Dashi to know [insert name of secret here]... why? My guess is that he doesn't want a long time friend to see what's wrong with him... whatever,) and Dashi feeling slightly helpless with their teacher gone and a city in peril.
I also love the little quirks you put in; ex 'she did her trademark little sigh-through-the-nose...' (I can totally see that, my mom does it!) and 'look at all that gold," she said, "and jewels! and" "Books!" Yelled chase, enraptured. "Weirdo." muttered wuya.
Those little quirks make the story very convincing, and very interesting to read.
Well, I'm definitely adding this story to my favorites. I really love it, and hope you luck on your next chapters. Please continue!
'till later readings
~avearia
*squees*
I like that she capitalised on the lack-of-Guan - he and Wuya have been eating up all of my headspace, lately. It's all "Travelling to Temples! Random encounters! Addition of Family members! Barbarian raiders! The Life-Cycle of the Not-So-Common Quan/Kwan/Guan Dao! Origin of the Spicers! WhyTF Hannibal got involved anyway!"
... The whole Dashi/Wuya fight may take a good while to get properly started - the whole 'learning to live on the mainland' thing was supposed to take like three chapters but it's exploded. O_o
However, that could be a very, very good thing for the overall story. It gives more room for gradual developments, and gives a long-term setting. Draws out the Chase-worry, too. *is evil*
...
Does anyone else think of 'The Day After Tomorrow' and other such films when they see articles like this and this?