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Ficwriting (Eleven Misplaced)
I've got strip about 250 words down to 100. Why did I decide to do this in drabbles?!
This particular one does four things: Say 'Ha! He's alive and your boss!', infodump on the culture, display classic Dojo melodrama, and involve the crack of Wuya talking about interior decorating.
...
I could chop some of that, or I could just say 'this one is 250 words for no reason'. I'm thinking that other bits are too long, later on, so maybe it could be a gradual evolution thing? Breaking out of the drabble form to symbolise... uh... I've got nothing. Damn.
Stripping it is, then!
I other news, have a PoV scribble from the Dashi of the third universe. It'll not go into the fic, but it's the scribble I did when I was all angry.
*
Dashi flailed out with the wind, trying to lay a hit - any hit! - on his former best friend. She had betrayed him. She had knowingly and willingly tricked him into returning Omi from the future, declaring love as her motivation. But he knew why she'd really done it: revenge. She wanted to destroy him for taking him away - for his own good - with no hope of release from purgatory.
She'd succeeded, too. She'd imprisoned him when their son was a mere toddler, watching on without comprehension - he'd replayed that scene a thousand times during his sentence, knowing what she would tell him about him, knowing that he would grow up to hate his own father.
He hadn't wanted that for her. He'd never wanted that. He'd never wanted Omi to be forced to choose - that's why he'd sent him to the future, sure to be a time when the Xiaolin/Heylin war was long over and being a child of such a union, such a child with demon blood, would not have such a stigma.
He'd been young and naive when they had lain together in the forest outside the temple - the Xiao-lin itself. He had assumed that things would would out for the best when she was found to have conceived - after all, Master Jung hadn't expressed displeasure.
But Master Jung had accompanied Wuya to the Heylin Tiger Temple years earlier. He had received Heylin training, professedly to help with Shen Gong Wu creation. Perhaps his judgement was not the best.
When Dashi was released from his puzzlebox, he dared hope that he had been forgiven. That Wuya had ended his imprisonment - or she had been defeated and he had allies again. But no. It was just some silly boy with a silly costume and silly ideas about world domination. Not only that, but his son was dead. Please and thank you, Mr. Potter.
Until... Well, he'd helped the silly boy. He didn't have a choice, and it wasn't like the boy had Heylin connections. Though it was rather disturbing to find himself fighting against Xiaolin Dragons - three the same age as the silly boy he was bound to the side of, and one older, a girl. She'd gone away not long after he'd been released. It gave him a mixed reaction, that - his son had been a Water Dragon. Had been. Had been.
Is.
Time-travellers. One was obviously Heylin, branded with their mark and somehow arriving at the same time as their Wind Dragon had frozen himself trying to 'save' Wuya. Bah, to that plan - he knew very well that Wuya could never be saved. But that wasn't the time-traveller he was interested in, oh no.
This particular one does four things: Say 'Ha! He's alive and your boss!', infodump on the culture, display classic Dojo melodrama, and involve the crack of Wuya talking about interior decorating.
...
I could chop some of that, or I could just say 'this one is 250 words for no reason'. I'm thinking that other bits are too long, later on, so maybe it could be a gradual evolution thing? Breaking out of the drabble form to symbolise... uh... I've got nothing. Damn.
Stripping it is, then!
I other news, have a PoV scribble from the Dashi of the third universe. It'll not go into the fic, but it's the scribble I did when I was all angry.
*
Dashi flailed out with the wind, trying to lay a hit - any hit! - on his former best friend. She had betrayed him. She had knowingly and willingly tricked him into returning Omi from the future, declaring love as her motivation. But he knew why she'd really done it: revenge. She wanted to destroy him for taking him away - for his own good - with no hope of release from purgatory.
She'd succeeded, too. She'd imprisoned him when their son was a mere toddler, watching on without comprehension - he'd replayed that scene a thousand times during his sentence, knowing what she would tell him about him, knowing that he would grow up to hate his own father.
He hadn't wanted that for her. He'd never wanted that. He'd never wanted Omi to be forced to choose - that's why he'd sent him to the future, sure to be a time when the Xiaolin/Heylin war was long over and being a child of such a union, such a child with demon blood, would not have such a stigma.
He'd been young and naive when they had lain together in the forest outside the temple - the Xiao-lin itself. He had assumed that things would would out for the best when she was found to have conceived - after all, Master Jung hadn't expressed displeasure.
But Master Jung had accompanied Wuya to the Heylin Tiger Temple years earlier. He had received Heylin training, professedly to help with Shen Gong Wu creation. Perhaps his judgement was not the best.
When Dashi was released from his puzzlebox, he dared hope that he had been forgiven. That Wuya had ended his imprisonment - or she had been defeated and he had allies again. But no. It was just some silly boy with a silly costume and silly ideas about world domination. Not only that, but his son was dead. Please and thank you, Mr. Potter.
Until... Well, he'd helped the silly boy. He didn't have a choice, and it wasn't like the boy had Heylin connections. Though it was rather disturbing to find himself fighting against Xiaolin Dragons - three the same age as the silly boy he was bound to the side of, and one older, a girl. She'd gone away not long after he'd been released. It gave him a mixed reaction, that - his son had been a Water Dragon. Had been. Had been.
Is.
Time-travellers. One was obviously Heylin, branded with their mark and somehow arriving at the same time as their Wind Dragon had frozen himself trying to 'save' Wuya. Bah, to that plan - he knew very well that Wuya could never be saved. But that wasn't the time-traveller he was interested in, oh no.
I have No Heart, but I Have a Stomach
Well, now that I have said that, I say that I like the illusion of Omi being the brat of Dashi and Wuya. It adds nice things. <3
Gosh, I love 'stalking' you. You always have interesting things.
Still waiting for Eleven Misplaced. *nudge*
Re: I have No Heart, but I Have a Stomach
And combined with the time-travel, it can add even crazier things! *evil*
*feels loved* I like you stalking me - lets me know that I'm not just chucking this out into the void, here. ^^;
*meeps and gets to work* The ChaseGuan is coming along, but Wuya's elaborate plots are still rather too wordy. XD
Re: I have No Heart, but I Have a Stomach
Mm, yeah, things getting sucked into the void is bad because nobody really gets to hear all those interesting things.
*nudge nudge nudddgeee*
Re: I have No Heart, but I Have a Stomach
*has updated*