May. 19th, 2011

I am so, so grateful that the dramaplosion have not demolished anything that can't be repaired. That would be very bad, and entirely made of Do Not Want.

I can stop shaking now? No, I can't, because I also have to email Physics and say that I'm still alive, but work didn't happen and I seem to have an exaggerated sense of consequences at the same time as another part of my brain tries to convince the first part that all concequences are imaginary and that there is only the Now. As you can imagine, those two bits have been fighting a lot recently. Paralysis... >_<

I have tea, but am un-calm. I may need soup, and hugs, and dessert later. Because I am currently* a person that's all about physical feelings, which gets me out of trouble as well as into it. I'm currently getting whalloped with the 'into it' side, and I hope that the lessons I'm learning stick this time.

At least this whole thing has made Alex feel a lot more secure with the open relationship thing? Me being affectionate with other people doesn't reduce how affectionate I am with him, and he knows that for sure now, so he's happy.





*I used to be entirely about staring at walls and rippling water daydreaming and not at all about anything physical, and then I came to Uni and discovered hugs and casual snogging.
Oh, two yogurts and half a sausage isn't actually enough food for a day, is it?

And yet... downstairs. Moving.

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Tamar Joshua Rowe

August 2011

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